Work with Life’s Challenges by Carol Ann

Hi Sue,

First, thank you, Lara, Erica, Jeff, and everyone else involved for all of the work in providing this opportunity for us.

I am amazed at the personal growth that I have experienced over the past few months by being aware daily of how I am reacting to life.

For over 2 years now I have been revisioning life following my marriage collapse and working at rediscovering who I am.  This 100 day period has affirmed and tied together much of what I have worked on.

I set out with certain goals at the beginning:  try to express myself more clearly; increase my social life; try and balance life (work vs play and emotional reactions);  improve my health (and hopefully drop a few pounds); declutter my home; seek a personal/romantic relationship.

Before we started, I identified my father’s failing health as a possible obstacle to my focusing on these goals.  And indeed just days into the challenge I was called to Toronto on emergency as my father was put on life support. I returned home after one week when he rallied but had to make a return trip to Toronto at the end of October for his funeral.

My family asked if I would give a eulogy.  My first reaction was a panic that I could not present the things that people would expect to hear.  However, I also felt the need to honour my father and I stepped into the uncomfortable zone and wrote and delivered a simple eulogy that described my father through my eyes.  It was accepted very warmly and I realized that those ‘uncomfortable’ first steps can lead to an amazing ‘comfort’ zone.  I now know that I needed to give that public farewell and I received a comfort and strength from it.

This encouraged me and I worked on opening up my inner self more.  Again I had to risk stepping out of the comfort of guarding my emotions.  I decided to stop doing what I thought people expected me to do or say.  It did mean accepting a degree of vulnerability.  To my surprise people actually interact much easier and happily with the real me!  and…. my opinions are more valued than I thought they would be. I make the effort to show appreciation as well as expect appreciation.  I feel more relaxed, realize laughter is always close at hand and have noticed more comfortable interactions with co-workers, friends and family.

I pushed myself to call friends that I had not heard from in a while and found that the reduced contact was not from a lack of desire to socialize but that they also were allowing life to overwhelm them.  We are planning to meet more regularly.  I find that being more open with my inner thoughts is also adding to the quality of our conversations.  I am avoiding making excuses for not doing activities – something that can be easy if there are chores to do or I am feeling tired.

I challenged myself to do one household organizational chore each evening when I got home from work before relaxing for the evening.  This I managed to keep up fairly well and as a result I am noticing a definite declutter progressing and am even working through some renos with realistic time expectations.  Definitely more to go! By getting a few of these chores done on a gradual basis I am actually freeing up weekend time to allow me to plan for some recreation.  A balance is developing.

Unfortunately a week before Christmas I had my jacket and purse stolen at a pub following our staff party.  I was in shock for a while and then became very upset.  After allowing myself a day and a half of feeling sorry for myself (including a good crying spell) I realized I needed to let it go in order not to spoil my whole holiday season with my family.  I pondered the situation and realized that though this was a financial loss and inconvenience I would be able to move past it whereas the person who took these items is still facing whatever issues trigger the need to do something like this (I believe it had to be more than just greed).  This helped to rid me of anger and realize that I was actually the one better off in this situation.  I was surprised when the following day I received an inspirational email with a quote:

“When you develop your ability to balance your emotions, unexpected problems won’t knock you off balance as easily, and you’ll return more quickly to a positive outlook.”  Peggy McColl
How true I found this to be!  I had a wonderful Christmas with my children.

I have been getting to yoga and stretch classes more regularly and I am consistently doing a 5 – 10 minute yoga stretch session every morning.  This has improved my flexibility however I was not successful in losing any weight – that is for the new year’s goal.

I have enjoyed the daily encouragement and find I am already missing ‘Jeff and Sue’ each morning.  I am glad that I have kept all of the messages on email so that I can review them as needed.  I was actually emailing with a friend on a near daily basis covering a lot of the topics I was exploring and I substituted that for my journalling.  I believe that the daily attention to my progress and/or setbacks definitely accelerated the successes I have had and realize that it is necessary to keep personal tabs on this and not just allow life to happen.

Once again, thank you.

Carol Ann

PS – There is also a romantic interest that has sparked!!!!

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Judy’s Challenge experience

Hi Sue

Oh the Challenge!!!

Everything started of on a great beginning.  By the middle of November I had

lost half of my weight goal and was making progress on healthier food choices.

Then, along came our house guest, the meals got bigger and better and I found

less time to exercise.  After the house guest I had four grandchildren for the

last weekend in November which put another obstacle in my way.  Oh what fun I

had with them  —  A trip to Science World and swimming in our local pool.

Back to the routine and I pulled a muscle in my leg, a serious cold and then

a trip to Alberta for Christmas.  Everything went out the window so my challenge

turned out to be not so successful.  I enjoyed the 30 day challenges more as I felt

that by half way through the 100 days I was out of touch with the group.  Not as much

contact to keep up the motivation.  I will continue to work on the weight loss and

have started to get back into the exercise routine.  Hopefully I will be more

successful this time.

Judy

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Liz’s review of the last 100 Days

100 Day Challenge… how hard can it be I thought? Don’t make your goals too lofty and you should certainly be able to manage this, I told myself.

First of all, it took me a few weeks to even SET my goals. And here I am at the eleventh hour, writing about what I accomplished (or didn’t accomplish) along the way. So what were my goals? Only to lose 10 lbs., drink more water, go to yoga at least once a week (something I had been promising myself for the past two years!), and to read more. Did I accomplish my goals? Well, yes and no, or should I say, more or less. Not exactly, but I was not a complete failure either. I DID lose 8 of the 10 lbs., I AM drinking more water, I DID start going to yoga, once a week, and am ready now to up it to twice a week, and I AM reading more. I am also much more aware of what I am eating, I am conscious of the amount of water I am consuming (or not consuming), and I am taking the time out for myself which my family assures me makes me a better mother and wife.

You see, my journey started two years ago when I was diagnosed with a very rare form of leukemia that leaves me feeling very sore and achy each and every day. It also limits the amount of energy I have and as a person who has always been very active this has been a very tough pill for me to swallow. Over the course of these past two years I have gained, not lost, weight due in part to medication but also I’m sure due to menopause and a change in metabolism. I have had to give up working as well as some physical activities. One hundred days ago I was feeling very ready for this boost to get me back on track. Right about the time of signing up for the 100 day challenge a friend who had recovered from breast cancer about 10 years ago and had offered encouraging words to me when I was first diagnosed found out that her cancer had returned. She lost her battle on New Year’s Day, at the end of my 100 day challenge. My battle, as well as my ongoing goals, will continue in memory of my friend Chris.

Liz

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Barb’s Story

Goodmorning Sue,

As you know, I have completed all three of your challenges and they have all been successful in different ways.  The first 30 day challenge made me realize how sedentary my life had become.  This challenge was extremely successful for me in introducing the awareness of getting 30 minutes of walking with Betty.  The second 30 day challenge was also successful as my goal was to complete the Sun Run in under 1 hour and 30 minutes and I achieved that goal!  I have a saying that fits this accomplishment – “There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”  Thank you Sue for showing me the path!

The 100 day started off with gusto and ended with some fabulous family ski days in the Callaghan and Whistler!  The in between part was the problem.  I had great intentions (I think the saying for this is “the road is paved with good intentions”) and had Erica put together a program for me and I joined a gym.  Then H1N1 hit and took me out for November.  Again, great intentions to get started in December then Christmas and all the nonsense that goes along with that seemed to get in the way.  I reverted back to getting out Betty for at least my 30 minute walks most days. As the new year is now well underway and I am feeling the excitement of the Olympics, I have once again signed up for the Sun Run InTraining clinic and plan on doing the run again.  I have learned that I can do whatever I set out to do, but what slows me down is the choice I make to sometimes put these goals on hold to be the wallet with wheels as the involved mom and wife in my family’s lives.  I feel so fortunate to have a team of professionals who keep me upright and moving in Sue and Donna.  It is time to start all over again with Erica which I hope to do too!

I’ll end with one more saying that I have come to love, “the older the fiddler the sweeter the tune”    Thanks for helping me find my tune Sue!

Sincerely,

Barb

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Life is What Happens…

when you’re busy making plans by Jane Smith.

When we started the 100 day challenge on September 22, my husband was 2 weeks into recovery from a heart attack.

I started the challenge with the intent of running a 5k by today (Jan 1).  I signed up and paid for my race – and I was very excited at the thought of *finally* becoming a runner.   I wanted to get in shape, lose weight and get healthy.  I had just watched my husband go through something that was entirely preventable through diet and exercise, and I wanted to prevent it in me.

I found myself slipping in my goals – and was fortunate enough to join Lara’s workshop. I met some wonderful women, who I wish I could have connected more with, and would love the chance to get together with again.

Before the workshop concluded, my husband was hospitalized again.  He was having chest pains, but thankfully not another heart attack.  Unfortunately it sidelined his plans to go fishing with his brother who was up visiting from the Kootenay’s.

We went back into recovery mode.  I have a fabulous person in my life who has been a rock.  He’s always been there if I need to talk and he doesn’t sugar-coat or soft pedal anything.  His advice and conversations have kept me moving forward when I wanted to curl up into a ball and hide.

At the end of November, my husband had a 2nd heart attack.  Any thoughts of goals, changes in my life has totally disappeared and we have been in survival mode.

It occurred to me the other day that I was still registered for the 5k.  It seems like a very long time ago when I was sitting outside Zephyr talking to someone about wanting to run.   Life has changed so very much since then.  I am now the wife of a cardiac patient.   I am, and always will be, the primary breadwinner in my family.  I still have a desire to get in shape, and want to have the physicality to run 5k.  But the goals I had 100 days ago have changed.

I strive each day to live as though it is my last.  To enjoy every minute with my husband and children, while still taking care of myself.   In the last 100 days, although I did not meet the original goal of running 5k, I learned that I am stronger than I thought, and that each day is a blessing.

Our house is filled with less anger, less shouting, and a lot more loving.  We’re all still together.  Its a good way to start 2010.

Now to find another 5k I can work towards
– 
Jane

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